I don’t do Christmas – it’s not that merry in my opinion.  Remember the old dude (the former rock star) in the movie “Love Actually”?  I am the female version of him – not that old but might as well be – I am feeling awfully tired of the festivity.

It’s mocking me, this holiday happiness.   Usually, I don’t mind being an outsider – heck, that’s all I have been for the past 20 + years.  “Sense of belonging” is just a term I learnt from my sociology class, it has nothing to do with me.  I don’t feel belong.  Not even in my own home.  I accept my weird bones to certain extent, but holidays just make them too obvious.  My social upbringing has failed miserably in teaching me how to coop with all the happiness surrounding me. 

Staying at home is not an option, roomate’s relatives are visiting – newly weds.  Just another pair of happy people , just what I wanted.  So I went out to my favorite hangout place: HMV.  Got some Nina Simone and Elvis Costello.  Got some book.  Next stop: a coffee shop I can sit down and read.  You see, I basically moved my living room to the shopping mall: this is exactly what I would do had I stayed at home.  Read and listen to some old people sing.    

So, it has been my Christmas 2007.  Now world, get back to normal tomorrow, will you? 

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