He is dead.
Don’t want to believe it, but he died.   This unbelievably kind and charming man is dead. 
How?  How could you do this to me?  Tragedy certainly will keep the memories longer and deeper–but you CANNOT do this!  It’s sick!  It’s unnecessery!  There are better ways!  I hate you, I hate you!!!
Tell me, this is not real.  Be kind…